Depression and Marriage

If your spouse or loved one is suffering from and depression, apply these 11 vital tips to help your relationship survive and thrive.

The symptoms of depression can be easy to miss until you’re in the thick of things. With busy schedules and ongoing demands, important issues such as depression can go unrecognized until the day your sweetheart can’t get out of bed. If a battle with depression is affecting your marriage, take heart. You are surely not alone!

With this information in mind, it’s important to be able to recognize some of the more common signs of depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, signs of depression include difficulty concentrating, fatigue, insomnia, excessive sleeping, irritability, restlessness, overeating, appetite loss, body aches and pains, loss of interest in pleasurable activities (including sex), persistent sadness or anxiousness, and suicidal thoughts.

It is no secret that psychological issues such as depression affect the way an individual thinks, feels, behaves, and functions on a day-to-day basis. Individuals struggling with depression often feel incredibly exhausted, overwhelmed, and lacking in control over daily life issues. Those suffering from these disorders often find that every area of life is impacted. A person’s home life, work environment, romantic relationships, and social engagements, are all affected by psychological health. As well, general physical health is assuredly connected to psychological well-being. By becoming aware of the telltale signs of depression, you’ve take the first step toward greater wellness for you and your family. Although it can be frightening at first to reach out to others for support, an abundance of resources (hospitals, support groups, psychotherapists, and community members) are but a phone call away!

When your husband or wife is struggling with depression, it can feel as though a dark, heavy weight has been placed on your shoulders. It is easy to feel helpless and confused when your spouse is suffering from a psychological issue that is resistant to treatment or seems untreatable. (Source: Dr. Carla Marie Greco)

Watch for next weeks post for tips on how to help with depression in your marriage.

Book of The Month

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know

In today’s increasingly complicated world, it’s often difficult for parents to connect with their daughters-and especially so for fathers. In this unique and invaluable guide, Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician with more than twenty years’ experience counseling girls, reveals that a young woman’s relationship with her father is far more important than we’ve ever realized. To become a strong, confident woman, a daughter needs her father’s attention, protection, courage, and wisdom. Dr. Meeker shares the ten secrets every father needs to know in order to strengthen or rebuild bonds with his daughter and shape her life-and his own-for the better. Inside you’ll discover:

* the essential virtues of strong fathers-and how to develop them

* the cues daughters take from their dads on everything from self-respect to drugs, alcohol, and sex

* the truth about ground rules (girls do want them, despite their protests)

* the importance of becoming a hero to your daughter

* the biggest mistake a dad can make-and the ramifications

* the fact that girls actually depend on their dads’ guidance into adulthood

* steps fathers can follow to help daughters avoid disastrous decisions and mistakes

* ways in whicha father’s faith-or lack thereof-will influence his daughter

* essential communication strategies for different stages of a girl’s life

* true stories of “prodigal daughters”-and how their fathers helped to bring them back

Dads, you are far more powerful than you think-and if you follow Dr. Meeker’s advice, the rewards will be unmatched.

“Reassuring and challenging . . . a helpful road map for concerned fathers [that] tackles difficult issues.”

-National Review

“A touching, illuminating book that will prove valuable to all of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with daughters.”

-Michael Medved, nationally syndicated radio talk-show host, author of Right Turns

“Dr. Meeker’s conclusions are timely, relevant, and often deeply moving. No one interested in what girls experience growing up in our culture today-and the impact that parents, especially fathers, have on the experience-can afford to miss reading this book.”

-Armand M. Nicholi, Jr., M.D., professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

We Are All Guilty

Everyday from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become moulded by how we think other people perceive us.

How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? Living a life that follows the ideal notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless spectator who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a follower.

We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is those people are thinking the exact same thing. No one in today’s “smartphone crazed” society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we’re too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings, not others.

A study done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have on average 50, 000 plus thoughts a day. This means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it’s only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts.

“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.”  David Foster Wallace

It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to “me” or “my.” This means that unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all.

Even when provided the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them. Once you understand that this is how people’s mind works, it’s a big step towards freedom. You can’t please everyone. It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people no matter what we say or how we treat them, that will judge us. Whether you’re at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it’s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.

Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing. I guarantee that chances are, nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen, is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll respect you. Source: Sean Kim in Life Hacking

Check back next week for more on how to reclaim your freedom!

March Message

Hello Friends!

People Pleasers- that’s what this month’s message is all about. Aren’t we all people pleasers to some degree? Of course, some of that is good, relationships can thrive on two partners that are trying to please each other. But balance is the key- too much pleasing and we can start to feel resentful, overwhelmed and angry. If this sounds like you, then you will enjoy the musings on how to put your people pleasing personality to work for you, and not against you- (I especially like the idea of a “Growth List”).

Check back next week for how to put balance in your life!

February Message

Over 13 BILLION dollars- that’s what we spend annually on Valentine’s Day, according to statisticbrain.com. The average consumer spends $116.21 on cards, flowers or candy. That’s a lot of dough!

This month we have some less expensive and more creative ideas on Valentine’s Day, whether you are alone, with a partner, or just happy with the status quo. The whole idea behind V Day is LOVE- and that means for everyone. So, go out and show your love by making anyone you want your Valentine- and have a great time doing it. Enjoy!