Rescuing Your Most Important Relationships

Posts tagged ‘Valentine’s Day Ideas’

How to Cope With Being Alone on Valentine’s Day

Valentine heart giftThere are certain holidays when it’s harder to deal with not having a romantic partner in your life, probably none more so than Valentine’s Day, the traditional holiday for lovers. Valentine’s Day can feel like the kind of day when everyone but you is coupled up, having a wonderful, romantic time in the enthralling company of the great love of their life.

So what can you do if you’re stuck on Valentine’s Day feeling like you’re on the outside of the party looking in?

Get together with friends who are in the same boat: However it might seem, chances are you’re not alone in being alone on Valentine’s Day. If you have single friends who don’t have a special Valentine this year, get together with one of more of them and have some fun. Make it a spa day, go out for a nice dinner, stay in for a movie night, spend the evening at a casino-whatever you’re in the mood for.

You can even make it an anti-Valentine’s Day occasion if you like. Bolster your spirits by assuring each other that you’re much better off without the partner from your most recent break-up or break-ups. Enjoy wickedly predicting doom for the relationships of mutual friends and acquaintances who do indeed have a lover this year.

Expand the notion of what type of love Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate: Your Valentine doesn’t have to be a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. Is there someone else you love in your life that you’d like to spend some quality time with?

Perhaps you have a favorite niece or nephew who is especially dear to you, or some other child you love. What about a widowed grandparent who’s alone this year, and whose company you’ve always enjoyed?

There’s no law that says Valentine’s Day has to be about sex or dating or romantic love exclusively. Your Valentine can be anyone who’s special to you.

Expand even farther the notion of what type of love Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate: There may be no one that comes to mind like that with whom you could spend Valentine’s Day. That’s OK. If you have love to give, but feel like you have no one to give it to on Valentine’s Day, make it your day to do charitable work. If you look for opportunities to do some good in your community, you won’t have to look far. Surely there’s a soup kitchen, nursing home, church, or somewhere where whatever help you can provide would be much appreciated.
Or even expand the holiday beyond the human realm. If you’ve been thinking about getting a pet, Valentine’s Day could be a great time to rescue a dog or cat from an animal shelter. Maybe you’ll make a new friend, and give yourself something positive to associate with Valentine’s Day forever after.

Make the necessary changes so that you’re not alone next Valentine’s Day: If you are by yourself this Valentine’s Day, and you don’t like it and it’s bothering you, let that be your motivation to make constructive changes in your life to rectify that for the future.

Probably you can see to it that you’re no longer alone by lowering your standards, getting back yet again with your ex that you know is bad for you long term, etc., but that’s hardly a solution. Think in terms of what you can do of a more healthy, positive nature to not only increase your chances of ending up with someone by the next Valentine’s Day, but ending up with the right someone.

Maybe you need to take more initiative and get out of the house and socialize more to meet people. Or follow up with your friends who’ve said they’d like to introduce you to someone they’re confident you’d like. Or go on that singles cruise that’s been recommended to you. Or take steps to deal with your drinking problem that’s damaged your relationships in the past.

Go back to school. Take up an interesting hobby. Be more ambitious about working your way into a better job. In general, improve yourself so you’ll improve the quality of people you attract into your life, and maybe this will be your last Valentine’s Day alone.

Ignore the whole thing: Actually, being alone on Valentine’s Day is only a “problem” to be “solved” if you choose to perceive it as one. There are plenty of people who-despite the best efforts of greeting card manufacturers and florists-treat Valentine’s Day like any other day, and maybe aren’t even aware when it’s Valentine’s Day.

If you happen not to have a steady partner on Valentine’s Day, so what? Don’t let other people manipulate you into being miserable about it.  (Source: Philo

Book of The Month

The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
Jack CanfieldThis is one of my all time favorite books, and I bring it out every January as a refresher for what I want to do in the coming year.

Jack Canfield, cocreator of the phenomenal bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, turns to the principles he’s studied, taught, and lived for more than 30 years in this practical and inspiring guide that will help any aspiring person get from where they are to where they want to be.

The Success Principles™ will teach you how to increase your confidence, tackle daily challenges, live with passion and purpose, and realize all your ambitions. Not merely a collection of good ideas, this book spells out the 64 timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history. Taken together and practiced every day, these principles will transform your life beyond your wildest dreams!


Love is not just for couples…

….it’s for all of us. Old, young, single, committed, we can all find someone to love this month.  So if you are single, instead of having a pity party, here are some ideas that will have you feeling loved and loving:


  1. Start a love epidemic in your life by sending cheesy cards and notes to everyone– family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, bosses, your hair stylist, favorite barista, etc. Kindness spreads, so notice how you feel when you are giving away something unexpected and nice.
  2. Round up all of your friends, male and females and have a singles V-Day party. Have everyone participate by giving out fun gifts, great food and silly games to let people get to know each other.
  3. Indulge-spend the evening with the one you should love the most- yourself. Plan a special dinner (for one), watch a favorite movie, read a book or listen to a playlist. Feel good about being YOU. That’s the best gift of all.


Veteran’s Day

This is one of those dates that comes only once in our lifetimes, and it happens to be Veteran’s Day this year. In honor of our Vets, AFC is giving out a special report to all Vets and active duty military that purchase a counseling package in November. The report focuses on long distance relationships, and includes tips and tools for family to remain close and connected during a deployment. If know of someone who could benefit from this, have them give us a call. If you are interested in volunteering to help a Vet, The Wounded Warrior Project is a great organization.

Most importantly, a BIG thank you to all of our military personnel for all of their work and dedication. 

Valentine’s Day Tips

Many surveys reveal that lovers can be out of touch with what their significant other really wants. In one poll, more than 90 percent of the men said they would be giving a hug to their partner as their Valentine’s gift. Only 13 percent of the females polled said they wanted a hug. Twenty-two percent of men who intend to give gifts said they would give lingerie, but only 2 percent of the women surveyed wanted lingerie.
Flowers, the most coveted gift on the female list of desirable Valentine’s Day gifts, ranked second on the male gift-giving list. However, jewellery, which was the women’s second pick for most desired gift, only rated fifth on the men’s list.

So, where does this leave you?

Really LISTEN to your partner- they will give you clues as to what is important to them. What does romance mean to them? Do you really know? Finding a Valentine’s gift based on what YOU think they want is a recipe for disaster. Spend the next two weeks before the big day and attentively listen – you will end up with a wealth of gift ideas.

The commercial expectations of Valentine’s Day are based on ideals of love, not reality. If what you are considering giving feels fake or forced, that’s NOT romantic!

My Million Dollar Valentine

Valentine’s Day is a great idea to set aside time for remembering those we love. In fact, it is even more than just remembering; it is romancing. And as for romance, we do it well! Marketing shows that Valentines’ day is one of the most expensive holidays- last year we spent 14.7 billion on flowers, candy, and presents for our loved ones (


I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that kind of money, and neither do most of the couples that I see. Many couples come to me and ask “What can we do to celebrate V-day without spending too much money? Here are some ideas to celebrate each other without breaking the bank.

  • Build a romantic fire. Before the kids go to bed, have fun roasting marshmallows. After their lights are out, host your own indoor picnic, complete with a bottle of wine and chocolate-covered strawberries.
  • Recreate your first date together. What were you wearing? Where did you go? Do you remember what you talked about? Spend the evening reminiscing and reflecting on how far you’ve come as a couple.
  • Make a tape of the songs special to your relationship. Include ‘your song,’ songs from your past, songs from favorite movies. Add a personal voice dedication and leave it in your partner’s briefcase, Ipod, or car stereo.
  • Have a scavenger hunt. Write a few poems, wrap candy kisses inside, and hide them around the house. Each poem should be a clue to finding the next one. Make sure the final clue lands your mate someplace you want to end up for the entire evening. A romance package, including a bottle of champagne and new lingerie, is a nice touch.

Be creative with your imagination, not your wallet. I guarantee you that your partner will remember this holiday for a long time!

Table For One

If you are single, Valentine’s Day can be pretty depressing. The commercialization of the holiday is geared towards romantic partners, taking little account of the thousands of people who are not in current relationships. You can turn this around by changing your perspective on love – who else in your life do YOU love? Parents, siblings, friends and co-workers would really enjoy getting a Valentine from someone else – and you will get a burst of positive energy from giving one.

There are many people in your life aside from a romantic partner; you can really make Valentine’s Day a special day of love for all of the significant others in your life. Get together with friends or family and celebrate!

Keep in mind- if you are tired of being single, or of ending up in a dead end relationship, try our dating coaching services. We can help you be the “chooser” and find the perfect partner. Call us at 505-974-0104 for more information!

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