Rescuing Your Most Important Relationships

Posts tagged ‘positive thinking’

Self-Sabotage. . . Continued

Recognizing self-defeating thoughts and behavior is the first step to change. Many experts agree that to change the behavior, people must change their thinking. Therefore, the first step is to observe ourselves and our thoughts.

The next step is to take full responsibility for our thoughts and behavior-so that we control them and they stop controlling us. If we accept that we are doing this to ourselves, we can also understand that we have the power to change.

Self-observation is a powerful tool against the behaviors that defeat us. For example, Stan could take his son fishing and be careful to be positive and to stay silent when he feels a
criticism rising in his throat. To do this, he would first have to decide that a good relationship with his son was more important that being “right.”

Setting a goal is the next step. Without blame or shame, choose one behavior to change. For example, Patricia could decide not to be late anymore. To do this, she would have to decide that something was more important than being late-a job she loves, for example. One tactic might be to write a positive affirmation each night in a journal, or set her clock an hour early, or enlist a friend to call her for a week, reminding her to walk out the door. After a while, the rewards of being on time could become greater than the self-defeating cycle of being late.

It’s not easy to change patterns of self-sabotage, but with time and practice-and a good dose of self-love-it is possible to end a self-defeating cycle and live the life we truly want. (AFC 2012)

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Attraction Factor

There’s a spring in Katie’s step, and she simply radiates positive, upbeat, can-do energy. She’s “in the flow.” Good things continue to happen in her work and personal life with seeming effortlessness.

Contrast this with Courtney, who puts in twice as many hours at work-super-long, hard hours every day-yet rarely achieves what she’s striving so hard to create.

What’s the difference? Hint: It has to do with Katie’s ability to attract what she wants. However, this kind of attraction has nothing to do with looks.

Rather, it’s about Katie’s ability to attract abundance by living in a way that’s in tune with her purpose, her passions, her most vital and alive self.

The law of attraction. It’s not just some woo-woo theory, its scientific: like matter attracts like. It’s similar to a radio broadcast: when tuned into a particular station, you will only hear (attract) the frequency of radio waves that match that station’s signal. And when that happens, everything seems easy, not a struggle.

“Once you change the way you are inside, the outer world changes,” writes Joe Vitale, author of the The Attractor Factor. Vitale is one of dozens of authors who write persuasively on the subject, including Jack Canfield, Esther and Jerry Hicks and Michael Losier.

Here are some steps to get you on the right track with the law of attraction:

  • Get clear on what you want and why. It’s not enough to know what you don’t want. You can’t get what you want until you know what that is! Getting crystal clear is where the “magic” of attraction all begins.
  • Imagine it. See it as happening. “Conscious change is brought about by the two qualities inherent in consciousness: attention and intention,” writes Deepak Chopra. “Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life.”
  • ┬áKeep yourself receptive. Exercise, eat healthy, play, relax. Stress, exhaustion, sluggishness, etc., can all interfere with attraction. In the radio station analogy, they become the “static” that interfere with the “frequencies” of that which you want to attract. Though taking a day off to relax rather than working frantically may seem as difficult as stepping off a precipice, it can be just what is needed.
  • Listen to your intuitive nudges. Attraction isn’t about sitting back and waiting for it all to come to you. Action is always required to meet goals and make dreams come true. Vitale writes: “Your job is to ask for what you want, and then to act on the inner nudges you get to do things, like make phone calls, write letters, visit a certain person, or whatever.” Don’t worry if your “nudges” don’t make immediate sense. The “why” will reveal itself later.
  • Surrender control. This means to let go and trust. Let go of the particular way in which things will happen. Let go of fear, doubt, worry and disappointment. Let go of the notion of struggle. Trust that the outcome will be just right.

So whether it’s a job promotion, landing that huge client or buying a new house, claim your dream. It’s yours if you want it. Now, go out and attract it!

Kelly Chicas 2012

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