Resolving the Unresolved
Understand trauma and its effects. Read books about recovering from trauma. Talk with a therapist to see what behaviors may be related to an early traumatic event, whether you remember the specifics or not.
Share your story. Journal about your experiences, past and present. Or ask a trusted friend or counselor to listen. You may discover the connections between what’s happening now and what you carry with you from the past.
Develop witness consciousness. Begin to notice thoughts and feelings as an observer. Start to be aware when “this isn’t that.” This allows you to step outside of the emotional response and talk about what happened without any blame. Sometimes a spouse coming home late from work is just that.
Develop emotional resilience. Experience your feelings, rather than pushing them away. Your emotions then can serve you as information guides moving you towards healing.
Learn new ways of self-soothing. Develop new self-caring behaviors. All this self-loving will spill over into your relationships.
Take time. All the time you need. We all heal in our own way, our own time. Honor your way.
The healing of trauma, just like the healing of a broken arm, is essential to a healthy, functional life. Moving towards a healed life brings us more fully into the present, making room for connection, intimacy, and freedom.