Rescuing Your Most Important Relationships

Valentine heart giftThere are certain holidays when it’s harder to deal with not having a romantic partner in your life, probably none more so than Valentine’s Day, the traditional holiday for lovers. Valentine’s Day can feel like the kind of day when everyone but you is coupled up, having a wonderful, romantic time in the enthralling company of the great love of their life.

So what can you do if you’re stuck on Valentine’s Day feeling like you’re on the outside of the party looking in?

Get together with friends who are in the same boat: However it might seem, chances are you’re not alone in being alone on Valentine’s Day. If you have single friends who don’t have a special Valentine this year, get together with one of more of them and have some fun. Make it a spa day, go out for a nice dinner, stay in for a movie night, spend the evening at a casino-whatever you’re in the mood for.

You can even make it an anti-Valentine’s Day occasion if you like. Bolster your spirits by assuring each other that you’re much better off without the partner from your most recent break-up or break-ups. Enjoy wickedly predicting doom for the relationships of mutual friends and acquaintances who do indeed have a lover this year.

Expand the notion of what type of love Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate: Your Valentine doesn’t have to be a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. Is there someone else you love in your life that you’d like to spend some quality time with?

Perhaps you have a favorite niece or nephew who is especially dear to you, or some other child you love. What about a widowed grandparent who’s alone this year, and whose company you’ve always enjoyed?

There’s no law that says Valentine’s Day has to be about sex or dating or romantic love exclusively. Your Valentine can be anyone who’s special to you.

Expand even farther the notion of what type of love Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate: There may be no one that comes to mind like that with whom you could spend Valentine’s Day. That’s OK. If you have love to give, but feel like you have no one to give it to on Valentine’s Day, make it your day to do charitable work. If you look for opportunities to do some good in your community, you won’t have to look far. Surely there’s a soup kitchen, nursing home, church, or somewhere where whatever help you can provide would be much appreciated.
Or even expand the holiday beyond the human realm. If you’ve been thinking about getting a pet, Valentine’s Day could be a great time to rescue a dog or cat from an animal shelter. Maybe you’ll make a new friend, and give yourself something positive to associate with Valentine’s Day forever after.

Make the necessary changes so that you’re not alone next Valentine’s Day: If you are by yourself this Valentine’s Day, and you don’t like it and it’s bothering you, let that be your motivation to make constructive changes in your life to rectify that for the future.

Probably you can see to it that you’re no longer alone by lowering your standards, getting back yet again with your ex that you know is bad for you long term, etc., but that’s hardly a solution. Think in terms of what you can do of a more healthy, positive nature to not only increase your chances of ending up with someone by the next Valentine’s Day, but ending up with the right someone.

Maybe you need to take more initiative and get out of the house and socialize more to meet people. Or follow up with your friends who’ve said they’d like to introduce you to someone they’re confident you’d like. Or go on that singles cruise that’s been recommended to you. Or take steps to deal with your drinking problem that’s damaged your relationships in the past.

Go back to school. Take up an interesting hobby. Be more ambitious about working your way into a better job. In general, improve yourself so you’ll improve the quality of people you attract into your life, and maybe this will be your last Valentine’s Day alone.

Ignore the whole thing: Actually, being alone on Valentine’s Day is only a “problem” to be “solved” if you choose to perceive it as one. There are plenty of people who-despite the best efforts of greeting card manufacturers and florists-treat Valentine’s Day like any other day, and maybe aren’t even aware when it’s Valentine’s Day.

If you happen not to have a steady partner on Valentine’s Day, so what? Don’t let other people manipulate you into being miserable about it.  (Source: Philo


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