How do you know if your social life is helping or hurting your relationship? (Or your chances of finding one). Our social lives are important; they allow us to have fun, relax, unwind and get away with friends or family. What is crucial to our relationships is determining whether our social behaviors are authentic to whom we are, and what we are trying to achieve in our relationships. Many times the two are out of sync. Here are some questions to ask yourself if your current social life seems to be blocking you from having a healthy relationship.
1. Do you revert back to adolescent behaviors in social situations, such as getting drunk, becoming obnoxious or sarcastic every time you are with a certain group of friends? Does this behavior help or hurt your current relationship? If you find yourself having a huge argument with your partner after every party or gathering, it might be time to re-evaluate your behaviors.
2. Do you hang out with people who are supportive of your relationships, or are critical? Everyone needs good role models, especially when in a relationship. Spend time with people who are relationship or marriage friendly, not those who are a continual negative influence. The buddy that supports your drunken musings of wanting to cheat on your partner is not a good role model for your relationship, and your partner knows that too.
3. Does your social life foster trust and integrity? This is a big one- if your actions are not trustworthy, how can you build trust in a relationship? As anyone who has lost the trust in their relationship can tell you, without trust the relationship will die or at the very least take a LONG time to recover.
Make no mistake- our social lives are a huge influence on our relationships. Don’t get in your own way by keeping behaviors that no longer serve you- be authentic in all of your actions and 2011 will be a great year for your relationship!