Rescuing Your Most Important Relationships

Resistance to Change

Have you noticed that when you start thinking about making a change, you feel resistant? Many people cannot bring themselves to leave their comfort zone, even when the discomfort is overpowering. There are some things that you can do to make yourself less resistant – here are some effective strategies:

  1. Start small. Thinking of your overall goal can be overwhelming. Manage your resistance by choosing one small part of it and attacking it today. In therapy, we call this “baby steps of progress”.
  2. Disprove your disempowering beliefs. Identify the beliefs that are keeping you from succeeding. Ask yourself, “Is there really evidence that this belief is true?” Make a list of the evidence to support why the belief is not true.
  3. Remind yourself of all of the available options. You will always have alternatives and the power to choose among the.
  4. Take responsibility for what you want. Look for signs that you are blaming your situation on others or not admitting past mistakes. Acknowledge them and move on.
  5. Visualize the future. Author Barbara Sher suggests this: Write an imaginary press release about yourself. The date is today’s date, two years in the future. The press release is announcing the most extraordinary event that you can think of. It doesn’t matter whether this event seems only vaguely possible to you, the important thing is to imagine what it would be like.

Comments on: "Resistance to Change" (1)

  1. Good advice, Kelly. Here is one of my favorite quotes (a Zen proverb, I’m told) to encourage someone who is willing to make a change:

    “Creating a habit is like walking through deep snow. At first it is really hard. But each time you walk that path, it gets easier. Eventually, it is easier to walk that path than to break a new one.”

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