Here are some suggestions to help you put out the fire, reconnect with your primary partner- and still bring home the bacon.
1. Remember that with work and other commitments, the time one spends with one’s primary partner is extremely limited. When you are at work, on the commute, or while traveling on business, spend this “down time” on your primary relationship. Pick up the phone or write a letter or e-mail to your significant other or journal about your significant other.
2. Ask yourself “why?” to the question of forming a bond outside of your primary relationship. What is the purpose of this relationship, and what are both of you getting out of it?
3.You can’t split your attention. You have to be very careful how you treat people of the opposite sex because no one intends to do anything, and it always “just happens.” When you focus your attention on your spouse you are so busy with your spouse you don’t have the inclination to give anyone of the opposite sex the time to worm their way into your life – in the place where your spouse should be.
Remember, You have to put a lot of energy into creating the relationship that you want. And both of you have to participate.