REMEMBER when sex was like a seven-course gastronomic feast? You never knew what was coming, every mouthful left you tingling all over and, by the end of it, you were satisfied and content.
Nowadays, it’s more like Pot Noodles: quick, convenient and fills a gap, but you wouldn’t want it every night.
To put great sex back on the menu, you’ve got to put it on the brain.
Some experts believe that great sex starts in the mind. Turning on your brain hours or days before you have sex triggers your libido into action.
Prime up for sex. . .
Why is it that men can go from watching a slice-them-up scene in Dexter to getting into bed and feeling instantly horny, while women get into bed and start thinking about everything from making the kids lunches to tomorrow’s work day?
Research shows that women access different parts of the brains for multitasking, whereas men generally focus on one thing before moving on to the next. Studies show women need a transition time of about 10 to 30 minutes between activities, so turn off the TV and take a sensual time-out before you even hit the sack.
A loving foot massage, or a warm, inviting aromatherapy bath will do the trick. After your bath, lavish each other in a sensual body cream, focusing your attention on every stroke to get your mind and body ready for sex.
Having sex can be like going to the gym. Your mind and body rebels against it, but once you’ve done it, you feel amazing. The standard wisdom says a woman’s sexual cycle moves from desire to arousal to orgasm.
But new research suggests that for women in long-term relationships, desire often comes after arousal. So instead of listening to the little voice that whispers sleep, sleep, sleep, be receptive to your lover’s touch.
Watch out for next month’s newsletter for more Sex on the Brain.